I have seen her often in yellows
With big and beautiful eyes
Beaming face
And a gleeful smile
On her winning lips
If there is anything parallel to all that
It is her own reflection

Heat of Love

I am burning
Smokey as wildefire coal
Slow as hawthorn wood
It is hot not as hell
But it impels
This distinguished heat, the beloved heat, the dear heat
It is not killing, neither torturous
It is the feeling of the virtuous
Carrying it inside is grand
It is spanned over infinity, chastely
Burning brings quiver, but drenched in content
From beginning to the virtual end
The heat is prime, it is paradigm
For all before, and all after
It is gentle and boastful
It is floral and gleeful
It is toxified
But I carry that inside
The burning and its heat
It is all elite

Shades of God ..

I called my brother today. I needed to pay my rent at least. I didn’t want to ask any friend for help before I could look at my own ones first. Although I knew that my older brother is going through financial troubles too, I still thought it was better than asking from a friend; friends here would not have refused me either, they are very helpful in other things too and I help them all the time when they look to me for anything. So we were talking and he asked me himself about how I am going to pay for my rent. I told him the truth that I have nothing to pay for anything, not even for the food. He asked “what I am eating if I don’t have any money?” And I told him that I was having dinner at a friend’s home for sometime now. To which he asked about my breakfast and I told him that I am not having it. His next response, which actually was scolding, flooded my eyes but I apparently managed to keep my voice normal. He kept scolding me, saying have I lost my mind, have I gone mad.

I hadn’t gone mad. But he kept scolding me for a couple of minutes.

And then some more ..

And then he said that he has transferred me some amount in my bank account online then and there and asked me to go out immediately and buy bread and other grocery to cook food.

My eyes were still flooded. And I was struggling more to keep my nasal tone normal ..

I guess I just did ..

I had prayed to God to help me. He did. I wanted food (and money for rent). So interestingly He didn’t just get me the food via my brother, he provided me food from another unexpected source within half hour of my conversation with my brother: A friend called and said that I am invited in Masjid for a Valima feast. I never saw this coming!

I think God just showed me that He can feed me not from an expected source but also from an unexpected source about which my mind can never think of; he showed me that He can create more than one way to help His creation. “Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?” (Quran)

He sure does things mysteriously! I had a good feast tonight. I could pay my rent now and be relieved for some more time. I can never be thankful enough to the almighty Lord.

Shades of Life ..

Come to a point where I have nothing left to spend on food. It is interesting that you have wi-fi but not a penny to eat. I have my rent due on Sunday and for the first time my landlord reminded me to pay it on time. Shades of life: sometimes you have plenty, and sometimes you are penniless.

I prayed to God today: in this state of indigence don’t let me ask for anyone’s help but Him; don’t let me throw my hands for help in front of anyone but Him.

I am sure He is listening. He is all I have and He knows that too.

Stealing a Life …

Paris attacks are harrowing. Brings a shiver down my spine. I am not exaggerating my state of mind. Whenever innocents die I am forced to recall the words from my favourite book “The Kite Runner”:

“…there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft…when you kill a man, you steal a life…you steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness…there is no act more wretched than stealing…a man who takes what’s not his to take, be it a life or a loaf of naan…I spit on such a man. And if I ever cross paths with him, God help him…”

A horde of Muslims have been concerned about how the horrendous attacks in Paris will bring a bad name to Muslims, again. I am not sure how to answer this. More or less the same number of people are concerned about how western media is actively reporting the Paris carnage and how Facebook is sympathising with the French community by rolling out an application that can merge your profile picture with the French flag to become a unique profile picture on your profile. They are arguing that such a sympathising gesture is only bestowed on the western people and the terrorism affectees from Afghanistan, Pakistan, Palestine, Syria, Iraq and others are always snubbed and which is a discrimination and selective-sympathy. It is true. But I guess it is more true that Muslim states are so feeble and incompetent today that their internal differences owing to sectarianism and weakness owing to corruption have led them to this situation and because of that Muslim community is given little or no significance in a world dominated by western democracy, culture and economy. Nature has it that only the strong survives. Justice is subjective and the mighty rules.

I find it sound to put a French flag (even though I haven’t put one on my profile yet but I support those who have) on the Facebook profile and sympathise with the French community ignoring any ifs and buts here. I mourn on the loss of innocent lives in Paris and my heart bleeds for every single soul lost in Paris attacks and all such terrorist attacks anywhere in the world.

Power comes with the responsibility and responsibility requires courage to befit the position you are responsible for. It would take courage for Muslim community to enjoy the pinnacle of the same power western world is enjoying today without being irresponsible.

I don’t know if this terrorism anywhere in the world will ever stop. It unfortunately doesn’t seem to end. I though certainly hope for the terrorism to be dealt with at least more responsibility!