Breaking The Traditions, The Customs And The Norms


Breaking the Traditions

Breaking the Traditions


Today, in the evening when I sat with my housemate having gossip with him — I found him depressed and stressed. I asked him what’s the matter? And he responded to me with the same old issues he has been going through. He actually wants to break the senile traditions and customs while marrying outside his caste. His parents aren’t agreed to it. But he’s adhere to his thoughts for long — trying to persuade his parents to brush aside the norms which conflicts with Islam itself.


I appreciate the sentiments of my friend of breaking the shabby traditions, in fact I endorsed him. But on the other side we also discussed the aftermaths and overwhelming consequences and specially for those families and brothers having sisters to get married in future, including few other relevant issues as well.


Ultimately, the inference we drew was that Allah is the best defender. The weighty thing is that Allah assess the intents of His creature. If His intents are good — he’s passed.


As I observed my friend since I’m living with him for last 2 years and I believe 2 years are enough to evaluate his conduct and views. With the person whom you live with, dine together, spend morning till night with him, you actually can understand him very well. To me, his only intents are to break the norms — the stupid assorted traditions being prevailing in our society for ages need to be lubricated.


I was wondering today, why we still follow such traditions which itself is contradicting with Islam? Do we not have any average knowledge to understand how it contradicts with Islam?


Today, when I see Pakistan from a larger perspective, I see that these senile traditions and customs are ruining our society very deplorably. Families are destroyed due to that. A Sindhi can’t marry a Punjabi and vice versa, a Urdu speaking can’t marry a Memon and vice versa, a Pakhtun can’t marry a Punjabi and vice versa — so on and so forth. Isn’t it ridiculous that we ourself are divided being a Muslim.


In Prophet Muhammad SAW era, there used to be inter-marriages for the very reason of advancing, encouraging and maintaining the political, racial, tribal, clan and family ties.


All of the Prophet’s marriages during 7 years in Madina, and also the marriages of his daughters, were either for establishing family ties with close friends or other tribal leaders for political purposes. For example, two of the Prophet’s closest friends, Abu Bakr RA and Umar RA who were the first two righteous Caliphs, were also the fathers of his two wives Aisha and Hafsa. Usman and Ali, the third and fourth righteous Caliphs, were married to the Prophet’s daughters. Usman married Ruqayyah and Zainab in succession, and Ali married Fatima. Ali, who was the Prophet’s first cousin, also became his son-in-law.


Hashim ibn Abd Manaf, the Prophet’s great-grandfather and the master of the Quraish, married Salma bint Amr of the clan of Al-Najjar, which belonged to the Khazraj. But the Quraish continued to give itself the most prominent position of all.


And that’s why Islam allows to marry a Ehl-e-Kitab to elevate Islam amongst.


We should emphasize the unity among all Muslims and should work to bring all Muslims closer.


The question still is beyond my understandings — why can’t a Memon marry with a Urdu speaking and vice versa? — so on and so forth.

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2 Responses to Breaking The Traditions, The Customs And The Norms

  1. Jan says:

    I am from one of “stan” countries,but not border.i love too much my boyfriend he is khan,pathan fm mardan.but his parents forcing him to engage with girl from their tribe,he doesnt know her.his papa told that he will write his son’s property to this girls name,and than he will hav to marry her. Is it really like this tradition u have in mardan?tell me please,i love him too much and cant live without him

    • Absar says:

      Unfortunately, yes. Most, not all, of the Pashtuns want to see their children getting married within the same caste or ethnicity. I feel for you.

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