When I Am No More

When I’m no more
When I’m finished
I will still be there
Not as a memory
As In someone else’s mind
Deep under six feet
I will be there
In ashes
And above it
There might be a tombstone
With my name on It
So I will be there
Just like that
And people might just say
Who was he?
Because I will leave no memory
That’s all I wish
That’s all I wish
That it could happen
That I be forgotten
As if I were never there
For they don’t know
Who really I am
I’m what they say
A scum
A waste
A veiled-hypocrite
But truly
God resides in me
And I haven’t lost faith
But my sins are enormous
And so
I don’t want people to remember
As I am gone
They will know It all
Some day
One day
And I couldn’t stand
With the idea of
What will come
To people’s knowing
When I’m not around
Forgive me, Lord!
Forgive me, Lord!
Or erase my existence
As if I were never a being
Never were born.

Of Shining Paths

I sat under the moon
Treading the memories
Of the shining path
Which seems to be lost
Lost in essence
Then it occurred
Moon gets light from the sun
Without sun moon has no brightness
And so the life is built on memories
Good or bad
Dull or energetic
Like a lunar eclipse at night
And solar eclipse at day
Without eclipse there is no shine
Neither of moon
Nor of sun
And I took in
The shining path is not lost
It is just the eclipse
Which will be over

A Dedication

I am prowling
Searching for my existence
And how it matters
Then I looked around
And saw the people who love me
They reminded me of what I was searching for
My existence
I felt blessed
Now my existence is real

The Summit

I bowed before Lord God

In the hope of finding him

And maybe to appease him too

But then I heard the Lord God say

Bowing is what most people do

But not all can find me

And if you must find me

Seek in your heart

And there I exist

But only for those who seek me

With faith

And not for those who squander only to find me

With broken or no faith

And forget that I say I am up close

Then I replied to God

If I can find you, how others can’t

And the God said again

When I say I am close

Closed as your jugular vein

It takes only a leap of faith

To trust that I really am

And there I am when you trust that

And you shall find me, inside, when you hold to that trust

So I stood up

And said to the Lord God

I trust you, I trust you

And so my heart shone with light.

I Wanted To ..

I wanted to believe

But God told me that I had to work more hard on it

I wanted to die

But God told me that it wasn’t the time

I wanted peace within

But God told me that I have a long way to go to have it

I wanted to cry

But God told me that crying without belief was nothing

So I went back to where I began

And now I am learning how to believe