Heat of Love

I am burning
Smokey as wildefire coal
Slow as hawthorn wood
It is hot not as hell
But it impels
This distinguished heat, the beloved heat, the dear heat
It is not killing, neither torturous
It is the feeling of the virtuous
Carrying it inside is grand
It is spanned over infinity, chastely
Burning brings quiver, but drenched in content
From beginning to the virtual end
The heat is prime, it is paradigm
For all before, and all after
It is gentle and boastful
It is floral and gleeful
It is toxified
But I carry that inside
The burning and its heat
It is all elite

Shades of God ..

I called my brother today. I needed to pay my rent at least. I didn’t want to ask any friend for help before I could look at my own ones first. Although I knew that my older brother is going through financial troubles too, I still thought it was better than asking from a friend; friends here would not have refused me either, they are very helpful in other things too and I help them all the time when they look to me for anything. So we were talking and he asked me himself about how I am going to pay for my rent. I told him the truth that I have nothing to pay for anything, not even for the food. He asked “what I am eating if I don’t have any money?” And I told him that I was having dinner at a friend’s home for sometime now. To which he asked about my breakfast and I told him that I am not having it. His next response, which actually was scolding, flooded my eyes but I apparently managed to keep my voice normal. He kept scolding me, saying have I lost my mind, have I gone mad.

I hadn’t gone mad. But he kept scolding me for a couple of minutes.

And then some more ..

And then he said that he has transferred me some amount in my bank account online then and there and asked me to go out immediately and buy bread and other grocery to cook food.

My eyes were still flooded. And I was struggling more to keep my nasal tone normal ..

I guess I just did ..

I had prayed to God to help me. He did. I wanted food (and money for rent). So interestingly He didn’t just get me the food via my brother, he provided me food from another unexpected source within half hour of my conversation with my brother: A friend called and said that I am invited in Masjid for a Valima feast. I never saw this coming!

I think God just showed me that He can feed me not from an expected source but also from an unexpected source about which my mind can never think of; he showed me that He can create more than one way to help His creation. “Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?” (Quran)

He sure does things mysteriously! I had a good feast tonight. I could pay my rent now and be relieved for some more time. I can never be thankful enough to the almighty Lord.

Shades of Life ..

Come to a point where I have nothing left to spend on food. It is interesting that you have wi-fi but not a penny to eat. I have my rent due on Sunday and for the first time my landlord reminded me to pay it on time. Shades of life: sometimes you have plenty, and sometimes you are penniless.

I prayed to God today: in this state of indigence don’t let me ask for anyone’s help but Him; don’t let me throw my hands for help in front of anyone but Him.

I am sure He is listening. He is all I have and He knows that too.